Post by Isaac Lahey on Jun 26, 2013 21:37:41 GMT -5
Where do we go from here?
Why's my heart filled with so much fear?
When all that you are is all I need and more
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Isaac had felt so tired when he went to bed. He had had a tiring day at school and he had had a nasty run in with one of the Alpha twins. He didn't want to worry Derek. That was the last thing on his mind. But it was still there. Still threatening to come crashing forth like waves on a beach. Fear. Anxiety. Tears.
The teen was actually afraid. Whenever he closed his eyes, he felt like he was drowning. He couldn't breath and it scared him. He hadn't had panic attacks since his father died. Well... Not as often as he did back then. He always associated them with him. Always of the fear of facing each day. Of wondering if his dad would go that extra step and kill him.
The lanky teen was curled up in the corner of his room, arms wrapped around his injured body. His bed was a mess. He had attempted to sleep. He really had. He had tossed and turned until sleep claimed him. But then the nightmares came. He heard his father's laughter, asking if he wanted to take it to the basement. He heard the mocking laughter of the twin. His father's voice calling him weak. But what broke him was Camden's voice.
Isaac swallowed hard as he tried to burrow his face into his arm. He knew his heart was going a million miles a minute, but he tried to listen to the rest of the pack. He tried to hear their heartbeats, finding most to be in the rhythm of sleep. He was quite jealous. Always jealous that they all seemed to find sleep easier than himself.
The teen got to his feet. He could feel his fingers scratching at his legs as he walked. He could feel the scratches through the fabric of his pants. He had already scratched his throat and arms in his sleep but the wounds had healed and he hadn't even thought to abandon his shirt. It felt like comfort. Or perhaps it belonged to Derek and it managed to offer him comfort when nothing else in the world would.
Isaac stood in front of the door he knew was hiding comfort. He chewed on his lip, right claws digging into his leg. He was trying to talk himself out of this, just like he had most nights. He could handle this. Sure, the nightmares were worse than usual. But he didn't need to sleep. He knew he could handle a sleepless night.
He could feel the urge to knock on the door, but leg his hand drop back down. He felt utterly defeated as he stared at the door. His heart beating a mile a minute. It wasn't right to wake the Alpha on the other side.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Why's my heart filled with so much fear?
When all that you are is all I need and more
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Isaac had felt so tired when he went to bed. He had had a tiring day at school and he had had a nasty run in with one of the Alpha twins. He didn't want to worry Derek. That was the last thing on his mind. But it was still there. Still threatening to come crashing forth like waves on a beach. Fear. Anxiety. Tears.
The teen was actually afraid. Whenever he closed his eyes, he felt like he was drowning. He couldn't breath and it scared him. He hadn't had panic attacks since his father died. Well... Not as often as he did back then. He always associated them with him. Always of the fear of facing each day. Of wondering if his dad would go that extra step and kill him.
The lanky teen was curled up in the corner of his room, arms wrapped around his injured body. His bed was a mess. He had attempted to sleep. He really had. He had tossed and turned until sleep claimed him. But then the nightmares came. He heard his father's laughter, asking if he wanted to take it to the basement. He heard the mocking laughter of the twin. His father's voice calling him weak. But what broke him was Camden's voice.
Isaac swallowed hard as he tried to burrow his face into his arm. He knew his heart was going a million miles a minute, but he tried to listen to the rest of the pack. He tried to hear their heartbeats, finding most to be in the rhythm of sleep. He was quite jealous. Always jealous that they all seemed to find sleep easier than himself.
The teen got to his feet. He could feel his fingers scratching at his legs as he walked. He could feel the scratches through the fabric of his pants. He had already scratched his throat and arms in his sleep but the wounds had healed and he hadn't even thought to abandon his shirt. It felt like comfort. Or perhaps it belonged to Derek and it managed to offer him comfort when nothing else in the world would.
Isaac stood in front of the door he knew was hiding comfort. He chewed on his lip, right claws digging into his leg. He was trying to talk himself out of this, just like he had most nights. He could handle this. Sure, the nightmares were worse than usual. But he didn't need to sleep. He knew he could handle a sleepless night.
He could feel the urge to knock on the door, but leg his hand drop back down. He felt utterly defeated as he stared at the door. His heart beating a mile a minute. It wasn't right to wake the Alpha on the other side.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
NOTES: For Derek
MUSIC: "Where Do I Even Start" - Morgan Taylor Reid