Post by Chevrolet Isabel Crowe on Sept 19, 2013 18:13:17 GMT -5
She'd never run so hard or so fast in her life. The tears were streaming down her face so hard that she could barely see the road she was running down. How could she be so stupid? There was a moment she'd let herself believe this could be real, that someone could actually love her. Care about her It was almost as bad as the fact she'd convinced herself that she could love him. Was she really that desperate? Had her life come to this? After all this time she couldn't let it sink in that this had all been a vile attempt to get to her family. Knowing what it put her cousin through to lose her grandfather, even after everything, and then to know the man she'd been falling for had done that... She couldn't. The lump in her throat was about as easy to swallow as a golf ball. She knew all too well that whatever had killed Gerad had been a monster. She'd always known if she was to only look deep down. As it was wearing off, she was starting to realise just how little of her thoughts and feelings were her own and how many were planted. Why her? Why did he have to go through her.
Her heart was breaking for so many reasons, not least the fact she felt so used. It had only been a couple of hours since she'd left his apartment in a haste with the trinket box she'd found in his draw. She couldn't imagine how her legs kept going, every move towards the house felt heavier and it wasn't just because the rain trampling down on her was saturating her clothes. She'd felt so pretty when she'd left the house in this dress the night before, now she felt like a beautiful disaster. It got easier the more she got towards the house. Once her key clicked in the front door, she could feel the relief loosen the binds on her chest. As she slammed it back behind her she pulled the chains over. It was the only way she felt safe from the outside world. She didn't stop to think about who might already be in the house. She was so used to it being empty but of course that was before JD had come home.
With it in her head that it was just her, she ran up the stairs, kicking her mud caked shoes away as she reached them so she didn't tread mud on the carpet. Everything was fuzzy, the sound of the wind against the house was making the windows tremble but sounded a million miles away. Her bedroom didn't feel like the safe haven she'd been hoping for, instead the make up sprawled across her desk and discarded outfits all over the bed just reminded her of what should have been.
Her back hit the hard wood of her closed as her legs finally gave up on her. The sound of her wet back squelching as she went down seemed to echo through the empty room until she finally hit the floor, legs skew-wiff and her hand hitting the floor, finally releasing the trinket box and letting it roll to the floor. With her chin on her chest she just sobbed for a moment. The sobbing was her moment of serenity, it was when she opened her eyes it was all taken from her. The way her skirt had moved made them so obvious, the bruises that littered her legs. Her fingers traced each one, down into the lines where it became apparent they were from fingers.
She couldn't look any more but as she turned away she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Looking at herself she should have seen someone shivering from the cold and the wet, someone who's soul was being crushed under her 'boyfriend's thumb, instead she saw something disgusting and dirty. She'd gone against everything her family wanted for a person, a thing she was supposed to hate, and for what?? She wasn't to know what spells Hayden had her under or what he'd done, she just knew she threw away all her morals, much like she did her hair brush as her hand came across it on the bedroom floor. Lifting it from the ground she threw it with a grunt until the mirror that revealed herself to her became nothing more than broken shards scattering in the air.